I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
