P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
