they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
