At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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