i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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