I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
