In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
