I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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