So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
