don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
