just tell him i said nine months
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
