I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
