The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
