I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
