was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
