The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
