No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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