You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
