Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
