I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
no, he came in my armpit
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize