I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
