Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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