A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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