On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
