i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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