Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
