when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
