11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
