thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
