dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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