By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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