What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
