I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize