apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
