On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
