Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
