Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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