oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
