It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
