I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
