WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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