At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
