What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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