just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
