We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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