So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
