Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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