11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
