I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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