Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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