I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
