She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
