so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
