I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
