At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
