You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
