Redeem this text for a blowjob
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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