it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
