just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
