haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
