I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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