Can Purell be used as lube?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
