Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
