That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
