So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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