Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
