The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
