i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
