Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
