At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
