Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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