Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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