I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
